Those bundles of joy…

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Don’t you just love children? ( I’m sure some people would say yes with gritted teeth) Personally, I think they are awesome (when they are not screaming or destroying things). I think that the life of kids is one of the most fascinating things in the universe, if we care to pay close attention.

Kids are generally self centered creatures (well who could blame them really), they do not consider the condition of the world around them before voicing out their frustration over their need for food or attention i.e. they want what they want when they want and how they want it ( I have nephews and a niece so I have first hand experience of that) and some of you in my position or better yet married with children can attest to that.It is generally annoying to behold but brilliant to watch because it intrigues me how those “little people” can cause so much havoc yet get what they want at the end of the day (you get what I mean?).

There is so much to learn from the life of kids (it doesn’t matter if we were once kids before, I’m sure most of us would want to go back because being adult is way too scary!). First up, their confidence. It is funny how kids boldly go after what they want and succeed (even if to us it is just getting an extra bottle of milk).Even the “shy” kids aren’t exempted from this, they still do the needful if it means getting that which they crave. How often do we cringe in fear! We fear failure, we even fear fear itself and all of this is the reason we end up not getting the things that we desire. Unlike kids, we do not make our way, go after what we want boldly and get it!

Do you see how children smile all the time? (unless they are hungry or upset or just got spanked but shortly after it appears like it never happened) A kid is hardly ever worried about anything, not the food they would eat nor the clothes that would go on their backs, not even when they “poop” in their pants. They know there would always be somebody to make all their temporary mishaps go away (yea, I said temporary). Frankly I do understand that the life of adults is technically not “child’s play” but we worry too much about everything, even about the future that we do not see. We attempt to control everything and “handle” every situation even when it is not ours to fix. We forget that the same rules that apply to the birds of the air apply twice as much to us in God’s eyes. Thus, we slowly but surely start to lose our beautiful smiles, we become grumpy, old and ugly.The negative energy that we emit goes forth into the Universe and brings back more negative things for us to worry about. Truthfully, and painfully so, we get stuck in a loop of negativity.

After closely watching my nephews and niece, I came to the realization of something fascinating: if they wanted anything from their parents or even from me, they would yap on and on about it, cry about it, keep bugging us about it until we gave it to them willingly or unwillingly. I am more than certain that most of us (if not all of us) did this as children. How did we lose a trait so powerful as persistence? Where did we go wrong? We knock on a door once and if it does not open, we so easily turn around in disappointment and start looking for other options. Just like children, if we are certain that we meant to be in a particular place or get a particular thing that our hearts yearn for, and we even get the rare opportunity of trying, don’t you think it is best to keep fighting till we get it one way or another? (the right way of course!)

There is so much more to learn from kids but I believe these three power ups (as I’d like to call them) reign supreme: confidence, a worry free mind and persistence. Life becomes much easier when we believe in ourselves, have faith in God no matter the situation and keep asking and pushing for our dreams until we attain realization.We are more improved versions of who we used to be as kids and as we grow older, we should learn to gain more perspective in the way that makes our lives better but if by any chance we seem to have lost our way, we can retrace our steps and begin to walk the path that leads us to peace, happiness and all round fulfillment. It is never too late.

(P.S. My niece is laying next to me refusing to sleep, my persistence will make sure she doesn’t do anything else, other than sleep that is. Yes, I can!)

TO DO : The next time you have the privilege of being around children, don’t push them away. There is so much you can learn from them

DAILY MANTRA : Like a child, I will be confident, worry free and persistent in the pursuit of my dreams!

My mother’s smile…

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I can’t stop thinking about her face, the way it glowed every time she walked into a room filled with people. I can’t stop thinking about how people commended her on how gorgeous she looked, even when her dress was less expensive than everyone else’s.

I can’t stop thinking about how rich and satisfied I felt every time mother was around, it was evident by how clean the surroundings were and the aroma of great tasting food coming from the kitchen (I know people would love their mother’s food whether it tastes good or not, but this does not come from that place at all). Her cooking is amazing! Just knowing that mother was around meant that even if there was no money, there would be an abundance of food and happiness (I consider that a miracle even to this day).

I remember how at some point all she did was come home from work and lay down in an attempt to relax (or at least that was what I thought it was). I used to get mad at her and ask her why she was avoiding me, why she wouldn’t play with me. I even had a little journal where I would write about how she didn’t love me anymore and how I was going to plan my escape (yea I admit, I was a little dramatic as a kid). I had no idea that in those moments, mother was battling with headaches, fever, and some other illnesses that she has since overcome (thank God) plus the general stress and tiredness that came from working as hard as she worked. I really love her.

I remember how she would make me dance and sing  for her (I was really dramatic) in different accents and styles and it would make her laugh hard, how she made sure that I always looked my best for school, church, or a regular outing even if there clearly was no money to make that happen (she was the God i could see), how she shared her love so equally among myself and my siblings that it was difficult to tell who she loved most. Watching her go out was the worst thing I experienced (I always felt like she was leaving me) and seeing her return from work or travel was all I ever looked forward to. It was all I lived for.

I remember how I didn’t know how to comfort her in those moments where her pain was so intense that it brought tears to her eyes. I only remember putting my tiny hands over her shoulder, hugging her hard and whispering in her ears “You will be fine” (that was all I could afford to say especially as her tears made me cry). And when I grew older and she started to bring up the subject of sex and men, I would be so uncomfortable to the point where I would act like a know-it-all just so she would drop the subject. I knew nothing.

I did not understand why mother would carry her rosary everywhere, why I would meet her praying in her office, singing praises while she worked or even praying late at night after we had concluded the general family prayer. I didn’t understand why she would give herself to the church, working selflessly and helping people who sometimes I felt didn’t deserve her help. I didn’t understand why she never reacted negatively when she was pushed to the wall by people in her life who didn’t appreciate her (and who personally I would have loved to beat the hell out of if I could). I never understood why she was always quick to forgive her transgressors and foster peace wherever she went. Now I do.

I could never repay her for all her kindness (a lifetime would not cover it). Now when I think of love, I think of her. When I imagine selflessness in its pure and undiluted form, images of her beautiful face envelop my mind. And I have made it my responsibility to live my life in the way I know would make her happy, in the way that would make all her efforts find purpose and meaning. I will spend the rest of my life being grateful to her for everything, and making her smile always.

My mother’s smile is after all, one of the wonders of this cold world.

TO DO : Call your mother, and let her know how much you love her!

DAILY MANTRA : I will learn to love others, just like my mother loved me.

A woman’s Sacrifice….

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Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the flesh.He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. Then the man said; “At last, here is one of my own kind- Bone taken from my bone, flesh from my flesh. ‘Woman’ is her name because she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:21-23)

Does that explain why no matter how hard you cry, no matter how much you multitask (feeding the baby while cooking and cleaning the house plus attending to work from the office),no matter how much mental, emotional, psychological and even physical(sad but true) pressure you are put under, you never really cave in or break down easily? Yes it does, because you were made from bone.

Let me take a moment to note down a few characteristics of bone.

  1. A bone is a rigid organ that constitutes part of the vertebral skeleton.
  2. Bones support and protect various parts of the body
  3. Bones enable mobility
  4. Bones give support to the body. (I got all this from Wikipedia by the way)

Now we can see clearly that…

  1. A woman (who is made from bone) is a strong (rigid) part of the body (representing both man and woman).
  2. A woman supports and protects the body ( you now see where all that concern and protection mother’s and women in general show comes from right?)
  3. A woman can make things happen and effect great change (positively or negatively) as seen all throughout history  and in our present society.
  4. A woman gives support to the body (pretty obvious given how strong she is right?)

Having seen all of this and gotten a clearer perspective on what the woman is truly made of (that eureka moment), it is clear to see that the woman is ‘sacrifice personified’. She gives all of herself, takes on so much responsibility through the good and bad moments and still finds the strength to smile through all of the pain. Talk about being blessed!

We are more than we make ourselves out to be. We are far stronger than we let on. We are beautiful, intelligent, brave, and we have the strength to do all, be all and still take on more. So wherever you are, whatever you are facing, no matter how difficult it seems, never give up. Hold on to what strength lies inside of you and harness it when you have to. Believe that you are strong enough to outlast and be happy through those sacrifices you have made and keep on making. You are after all, made from bone!

TO DO : Recall, at every moment of hardship, how strong you are and smile.

DAILY MANTRA: I am literally superwoman. Yes I am!

This little heart of mine…

 

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My name is Aubrey and I understand what it feels to be in pain, to inflict pain on myself and to try to wish it all away. I know what it means to want things so badly and not get them. I understand the pain of loving someone wholeheartedly and not having them love me back the way they should. I know the pain of being let down by a once trusted friend. I know the pain of knowing that other people like me, have been here and are still here.

As women, we are taught to seek validation from those around us, and to feel beautiful only by the things we adorn ourselves with: our hair extensions, our makeup, our clothes (the fancier, the better). However, real beauty comes from within (I know this is the most cliche-est cliche statement ever) but it still remains the truth. We get all hot and bothered when we feel that we are not living up to the expectations that others have set for us. We want to be what the world wants us to be and we do not learn to accept who we are.

Today I cried…I cried because I felt this pain again but this time it was different. It brought me to the realization of the time I had lost, seeking approval, waiting for validation and falling short each time (because no one will love you the way they should if you do not love yourself like you must). It was different, this time, because I brought myself to the realization of myself: a precious, priceless jewel who needs to be loved and cared for and this task I must accomplish first on my own before I can receive it from anybody else.

Make a decision to value yourself above all else and live up only to the standards you have set for yourself. Never let the world dictate to you who you are and how you need to appear before it. It is never an easy task, but once you come to the realization of who you are, learn to accept yourself. Say to your little heart: Be Strong!

TO DO: Only what makes you happy.

DAILY MANTRA: I accept myself, I love myself.

 

Noise in an otherwise peaceful mind…

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Night after night, sleep eludes me, all I hear are the voices inside my head. Every morning is a drag, waking up is scarier each time. “How do I face the world? What do I have to offer it today?” A baby’s sweet laughter becomes toxic to my ears and the screams of people fighting have become a familiar sound.

It is happiness that we seek in this world, not money, not power. It is happiness that gives us the strength to shut our eyes to the world and wake up with new hope, new purpose, new expectations. We desire nothing more, but anything less is worse than everything else.

The pressure to stay beautiful, fend off the wrinkles, look natural and plastic at the same time, take care of the chores and get a life at the same time, love a man and hate him at the same time, be the best and the weaker vessel at the same creates noise in our otherwise peaceful minds…

We don’t have to be anything, we don’t need to be anything. But if we desire anything, anything that means something to each and every one of us, then we must first dim the voices in our heads that seek to destroy what is left of who we are, of who we hope to be, of who the universe beckons on us to be.

We must first be happy, for in happiness, we have everything.

TO DO: Spend 5 minutes each day doing absolutely nothing, just breathing.

DAILY MANTRA: I choose to be happy.