Those bundles of joy…

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Don’t you just love children? ( I’m sure some people would say yes with gritted teeth) Personally, I think they are awesome (when they are not screaming or destroying things). I think that the life of kids is one of the most fascinating things in the universe, if we care to pay close attention.

Kids are generally self centered creatures (well who could blame them really), they do not consider the condition of the world around them before voicing out their frustration over their need for food or attention i.e. they want what they want when they want and how they want it ( I have nephews and a niece so I have first hand experience of that) and some of you in my position or better yet married with children can attest to that.It is generally annoying to behold but brilliant to watch because it intrigues me how those “little people” can cause so much havoc yet get what they want at the end of the day (you get what I mean?).

There is so much to learn from the life of kids (it doesn’t matter if we were once kids before, I’m sure most of us would want to go back because being adult is way too scary!). First up, their confidence. It is funny how kids boldly go after what they want and succeed (even if to us it is just getting an extra bottle of milk).Even the “shy” kids aren’t exempted from this, they still do the needful if it means getting that which they crave. How often do we cringe in fear! We fear failure, we even fear fear itself and all of this is the reason we end up not getting the things that we desire. Unlike kids, we do not make our way, go after what we want boldly and get it!

Do you see how children smile all the time? (unless they are hungry or upset or just got spanked but shortly after it appears like it never happened) A kid is hardly ever worried about anything, not the food they would eat nor the clothes that would go on their backs, not even when they “poop” in their pants. They know there would always be somebody to make all their temporary mishaps go away (yea, I said temporary). Frankly I do understand that the life of adults is technically not “child’s play” but we worry too much about everything, even about the future that we do not see. We attempt to control everything and “handle” every situation even when it is not ours to fix. We forget that the same rules that apply to the birds of the air apply twice as much to us in God’s eyes. Thus, we slowly but surely start to lose our beautiful smiles, we become grumpy, old and ugly.The negative energy that we emit goes forth into the Universe and brings back more negative things for us to worry about. Truthfully, and painfully so, we get stuck in a loop of negativity.

After closely watching my nephews and niece, I came to the realization of something fascinating: if they wanted anything from their parents or even from me, they would yap on and on about it, cry about it, keep bugging us about it until we gave it to them willingly or unwillingly. I am more than certain that most of us (if not all of us) did this as children. How did we lose a trait so powerful as persistence? Where did we go wrong? We knock on a door once and if it does not open, we so easily turn around in disappointment and start looking for other options. Just like children, if we are certain that we meant to be in a particular place or get a particular thing that our hearts yearn for, and we even get the rare opportunity of trying, don’t you think it is best to keep fighting till we get it one way or another? (the right way of course!)

There is so much more to learn from kids but I believe these three power ups (as I’d like to call them) reign supreme: confidence, a worry free mind and persistence. Life becomes much easier when we believe in ourselves, have faith in God no matter the situation and keep asking and pushing for our dreams until we attain realization.We are more improved versions of who we used to be as kids and as we grow older, we should learn to gain more perspective in the way that makes our lives better but if by any chance we seem to have lost our way, we can retrace our steps and begin to walk the path that leads us to peace, happiness and all round fulfillment. It is never too late.

(P.S. My niece is laying next to me refusing to sleep, my persistence will make sure she doesn’t do anything else, other than sleep that is. Yes, I can!)

TO DO¬†: The next time you have the privilege of being around children, don’t push them away. There is so much you can learn from them

DAILY MANTRA : Like a child, I will be confident, worry free and persistent in the pursuit of my dreams!

The Reward for good girls….

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My mother used to tell me when I was little: ” Brush your teeth properly Aubrey, if you don’t have clean teeth, no man will marry you.” I never thought much about that statement until recently.

It seems that the more we(good girls) try to be distinct from the crowd, the more we carry ourselves in a dignified manner, the more we keep ourselves pure and untainted by the world, the harder it gets for us to achieve our dreams. It is almost as though those who choose to live on the other side of life have more fun, experience life more and get their needs met(it is more frustrating than it sounds). Someone called me “fake” once because he did not believe that being good was a real trait a girl could possess (matter of fact, you would find people who would call you a pretender more often than not because you have principles, imagine that!)

This brings me to the subject of concern: the reward for good girls. Is the reward for good girls marriage? Is that all I get if I follow all the rules, jump all the hurdles and make all the right decisions? At the end of that long tough road transitioning from a little girl to a woman, will all I get at the end of the day be a husband? (Don’t get me wrong, getting married is a beautiful thing), but even the worst of women(if we decide to call them that) have been married to good men so really, something is totally off right??

I believe good girls can and should have everything they desire. I believe parents should tell their girl children that in addition to being good, they can have everything they want, everything that they work hard for, and that having a husband could be the cherry on top of the cake, but not the cake itself. Forgive your parents for not coming to this realization and be blessed knowing that you can not only apply this in your life as a young woman, but you can pass this on to your girl child(children) in the best way possible(I forgive you mum, I know you were just looking out for me).

So what is the reward for good girls? I dare say anything and everything!

TO DO: The right things, but be ruthless in the pursuit of your dreams

DAILY MANTRA: I am a good girl, and that’s not a bad thing!

This little heart of mine…

 

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My name is Aubrey and I understand what it feels to be in pain, to inflict pain on myself and to try to wish it all away. I know what it means to want things so badly and not get them. I understand the pain of loving someone wholeheartedly and not having them love me back the way they should. I know the pain of being let down by a once trusted friend. I know the pain of knowing that other people like me, have been here and are still here.

As women, we are taught to seek validation from those around us, and to feel beautiful only by the things we adorn ourselves with: our hair extensions, our makeup, our clothes (the fancier, the better). However, real beauty comes from within (I know this is the most cliche-est cliche statement ever) but it still remains the truth. We get all hot and bothered when we feel that we are not living up to the expectations that others have set for us. We want to be what the world wants us to be and we do not learn to accept who we are.

Today I cried…I cried because I felt this pain again but this time it was different. It brought me to the realization of the time I had lost, seeking approval, waiting for validation and falling short each time (because no one will love you the way they should if you do not love yourself like you must). It was different, this time, because I brought myself to the realization of myself: a precious, priceless jewel who needs to be loved and cared for and this task I must accomplish first on my own before I can receive it from anybody else.

Make a decision to value yourself above all else and live up only to the standards you have set for yourself. Never let the world dictate to you who you are and how you need to appear before it. It is never an easy task, but once you come to the realization of who you are, learn to accept yourself. Say to your little heart: Be Strong!

TO DO: Only what makes you happy.

DAILY MANTRA: I accept myself, I love myself.